nocturnal animals

来源:和菜头 I'm Fucking Matt Damon

前情提要:Jimmy Kimmel 自2003年1月起自立门户在ABC电视台主持<Jimmy Kimmel Live>，大受欢迎。2007年4月号的杂志荣膺他为'Biggest Badass on TV'。2002年离婚后，他与女丑/谐星Sarah Silverman交往至今。

首部曲 <马特的愤怒>
Jimmy经年累月开Matt Damon玩笑，屡屡以节目时间不够为由不让马特上节目露脸，“Matt Damon,apologies,run out of time"更是成为他的经典/招牌口头禅。有鉴于此，2007年夏天，Jimmy郑重邀请Matt进摄影棚以兹补偿。但Jimmy相当阴毒，介绍完一大篇Matt的丰功伟业之后，时间也恰恰好这么匆匆流逝...
二部曲<莎拉的告解>
2008年1月31日是Sarah和Jimmy交往/开播5周年纪念日，Sarah带着一部别致的VCR短片来上男友的节目当嘉宾，却心神不宁，欲言又止。

Lyric Supported:
SS: I'm fucking Matt Damon
MD: She's fucking Matt Damon
SS: I'm sorry but it's true

SS: I'm fucking Matt Damon
MD: She's fucking Matt Damon
SS: I'm not imaging it's you

SS: I'm fucking Matt Damon
MD: On the bed, on the floor,On a towel by the door,
In the tub, in the car,Up against the mini-bar

SS: I'm fucking Matt Damon
MD: She's fucking Matt Damon
SS: While you're drinking diet Snapple

SS: I said I'm fucking Matt Damon
MD: She said she's fucking Matt Damon
MD: Hey Kimmel, how do you like them apples?

SS: Hey Jim, don't take it bad,Remember all the good times we had,
Like the time we went fishing,And we caught a bunch of fish,
Then you puked in the bucket,On the fish that we caught

Girls: Knock knock!
Boys: Who's that knocking at my door?
Girls: Amfa!
Boys: Amfa who?
Girls: I'm fucking Matt Damon
Boys: She's fucking Matt Damon

SS: I'm fucking Matt Damon
MD: She's fucking Matt Damon
SS: And you know that I ain't lying

SS: I said I'm fucking Matt Damon
MD: She's fucking Matt Damon
SS: Ask The Insider's Pat O'Brien

SS: On the bed, on the floor,On a towel by the door,
In the tub, in the car,Up against the mini-bar
MD: She's fucking Matt Damon
SS: She's fucking Matt Damon
MD: She's fucking Matt Damon

三部曲<吉米的复仇>
2月24日，吉米的逆袭。强大的阵容，磅礴的曲式，华丽得令人无法承受。

JK:Oh, Hi Sarah. It's been a long time. I guess you've been…busy with…Matt Damon. I've been busy too. I've been thinking about us, and you and him and, I'm happy for you. I really am. He's a great guy. I mean he's the sexiest man alive. I found somebodye pretty sexy too. I don't know if you've heard, but…I'm fucking Ben Affleck!
BA:He's fucking Ben Affleck.
JK: While you and Matt are swappin' spit. I said I'm fucking Ben Affleck!
BA: He said he's fucking Ben Affleck. Hey Sarah, he's got bigger tips.
JK: They're not hairy though, right?
BA: No…

Brad Pitt: Excuse me…Is someone here…fucking Ben Affleck?
JK: I am! I'm fucking him!
Brad Pitt: Great, sign here.
JK: Thank you. [Reads cake] Congratulations on fucking Ben Affleck.
Crowd & Ben: Ahhhh….
Brad Pitt: What did you wish for?

JK& BA: When we're together there's this feeling inside.
It's like a million butterflies flutterin' in my behind.
I love the dimples in your chin, I see diamonds in your eyes.
When I'm fucking you Ben Affleck I feel like I can fly.
And our fucking won't be stopped no matter how hard they try.
BA: They can't stop it.
JK: They can't stop it.

Joan Jett: You won't tear them apart. You can't stop this love affair, cause they love f-u-c-k-i-n-g.
Robin Williams: This is not a man crush. He's fucking our friend Ben.
Don Cheadle: And so we all…we all hope Matt will understand…

Everyone: He's fucking Ben
Pete Wentz & Dominic Monaghan: fucking Ben Affleck
Perry Farrell: Yeah, Jimmy's the one who's fucking Ben Affleck like they're in prison.
Everyone: Just like prison.

Macy Gray: He's fucking Ben…Ben Affleck's his guy.
Joel Madden and Benji Madden: Oh, it's through the fucking night and day…
Lance Bass: Just ask Huey!
Cameron Diaz: Okay, I'll ask him Huey, did you see them **** at all?
Huey Luis: Yes, I saw them ****. They were in a bathroom stall.

Josh Groban: Oooohhh ooohhhh oohhh he's fucking Ben, fucking Ben Affleck. He's fuuuucking Bennnn!
Everyone: He's fucking Ben. He's fucking Ben Affleck!
Christopher Mintz-Plasse: Jimmy's the one who's fucking Ben Affleck like they're in prison!

Meatloaf & Everyone: He's fucking Ben. Ben Affleck's his guy!
Joel Madden and Benji Madden: Do the fucking every way.
Dicky Barrett: Just ask Don Cheadle!
Don Cheadle: Ooohhhh ooohhh ooohhh he's fucking Ben.
Everyone: He's fucking Ben Affleck!

[Harrison Ford blows a kiss to Ben and Jimmy]
Everyone: Jimmy's the one who's fucking Ben Affleck like they're in prison.
Christina Applegate & Rebecca Romijn: Just like prison!
Everyone: He's fucking Ben! fucking Ben Affleck. Jimmy's the one who's fucking Ben Affleck like they're in prison. He's fucking Ben. Ben Affleck's his guy!

Huey Luis & Cameron Diaz: They've been making sweet sweet love, Ben and Jimmy!
Josh Groban: That was pretty fucking good.